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Ever since I was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer, I have been obsessed with the fact that most people are forgotten within years after they die, or at best a few decades.

Consider my Aunt Tess - my mother's sister - for example. She was one of the nicest, funniest, vibrant, loving people I have ever known, but she died young (in her fifties) from cancer. She was so loved that my mother used to say that it got harder as the years went by to live without her, not easier. Time does not always heal the wounds. Today, there are probably only six people still alive who knew and loved Aunt Tess. When they die, it will be as if Aunt Tess never existed at all, and that's just so wrong.

And then there's my paternal grandfather, Phil Luber, who died before any of his grandchildren were born. Today, only his two surviving sons can testify to his existence, generosity, and good deeds.

So how do we preserve the memory of loved ones for future generations? Here's my recipe:

Save Old Family Documents
As I sit here writing this, I am looking at a mortgage note from 1922 for my grandfather's cigar store on Germantown Avenue. It bears the signatures of my grandfather and grandmother. The document and their signatures are testimony to their existence. As I hold the document, I can almost feel the hopes and aspirations they must have had on that day when they signed it. It chills me.

Save all family documents - real estate papers, certificates of naturalization, diplomas, birth certificates, marriage certificates, death certificates, award certificates, armed services documents, letters, cards, report cards, stories, cemetery plot information - everything. I still have all of the letters written to and by my father when he was in the navy in World War II. These letters reveal better than anything you will ever see on television the tone of the times.

Scan the documents to have digital images for safe keeping.

Organize the documents by family member and appoint a guardian who will take over custody when you die. Make sure you appoint somebody who cares. My guardian is my youngest daughter, Mallory, because she has the deepest sense of family of all of my daughters. She cares.

Start a Web Site
What better way to create a permanent record of the dearly departed for the world to see than to create a web site, with a web page devoted to each person. Don't limit it to relatives - include other people who were important in your life. In my case, that would include our family maid, Lillie Bundick, and my piano teacher, Mr. Crisp. Web sites are cheap to operate - about $18.00 a month. Perhaps you can get relatives to share the expense.

Save, Scan, and Restore Old Family Pictures
I have become quite the expert at restoring old, damaged family pictures. In fact, the finished product usually surpasses the original because I can also adjust the sharpness, brightness, and contrast. Store some of these pictures on your family web site. Print them out and send them to relatives. One of the ways I keep my grandfather alive is my selling pictures of him in his cigar store.  By now, the story of Phil Luber and his cigar store adorns the walls of dozens of cigar stores and collectors of cigar store memorabilia around the country, and that gives me a warm feeling.

Pass on an Oral History
Tell your kids and grandchildren your favorite stories about their ancestors. Tell the stories repeatedly, until them become engrained in their consciousness.

Teach Your Children Well
Make sure that your kids and grandchildren know who's who in the family tree. See my previous commentary on this subject. This way, when they meet relatives they will know who they are and be more inclined to ask questions and acquire additional knowledge.

Learn More Yourself
Talk to the family elders while they are still around to share their memories. Search the web. My mother had a younger sister who died shortly after childbirth. My brother and I are trying to obtain a death certificate so that we can see if the baby had a name.

Everybody deserves to be immortalized. Everyone who ever lived had hopes and aspirations, and had an impact on other lives. Don't let these people be forgotten. Don't let me be forgotten.